Tomorrow Never Knows

November 10th has become a significant day for me over the last few years. Three years ago I had pancreatic tumor removed as well as cancer they had found. I am super grateful that it was a huge success and I’ve been completely free of any cancer for the last three years.

I’ve been so complete around this experience that it carries so little energy but great lessons.
I do always remember a few things that even a difficult experience like this can give you.

For the first few days after my surgery I was in a shared large room with a few other patients. One of those patients was a very old man. His family and priest would gather around him in the evening praying as he laid in bed looking like he was in the last moments in his life. When I would wake up in the morning I would see him sitting up in a chair with his suit and fedora on. This happened for the few days that I shared the same room and will never forget that.

I will always remember getting my biopsy results a few weeks later and being told they had found cancer but how fortunate I was that I had a clean bill of health with no surgical complications and nothing else to do but recover. Walking out of my surgeons office and sitting in a bathroom stall for 10 minutes crying and letting go of all this energy from a few years of the unknown.

The recovery. Hands down the most challenging and painfulful 12 weeks of my life.
The physical pain, insomnia and emotional rollercoaster I will never forget.

The support. Truly grateful for my parents, sisters, family, friends, clients for being so supportive and understanding. For all the books, podcasts and playlists that distracted the pain and sleepless nights.

I’m super grateful for my health and for this experience. It was a great practice of spirit, failure and present to gratitude in a way I never experienced.

A Sunday Morning Playlist - Meditation / Gratitude / Faith (revisited)

A Sunday Morning Playlist - A Moment of Stillness

Before getting into the coaching and personal development world I worked in the music industry for a decade. I had an A&R gig where I’d sign and help develop artists and managed artists. For a 10 year stretch my life was consumed by music. Hundreds of shows, thousands of demos to find something really special and countless discussions and drinks with my colleagues at MapleMusic Recordings (best team ever) who taught me way more than I could have imagined. Such a great moment in my life. I still get to dabble in the music industry doing some coaching and leadership work with artists and labels across North America which has been an amazing experience.

I started putting together the Sunday Morning Playlist with one goal. I would put out 40 playlists from Autumn 2018 to 2019. I wanted to do something fun that would be visible and keep me committed to following through. 40 for 40 years on this planet.

What I got out of it was a discovery of so much new music, rediscovery of music I had forgotten and getting to collaborate with some amazing friends on curating playlists. Thank-you Audra, Alyssa, Jenn, Bryton, Darryl, Graeme and Stephen. I think my favorite part of the whole experience was designing covers.

Doing something like this affords me a lot of opportunity for trial and error. Some interesting ideas have been percolating so the next installment is going to be bigger and involve more conversations and creative opportunities.

This 40th playlist is of some of my favorite discovery and rediscovery moments of the past year.

A Sunday Morning Playlist - 040
A Moment of Stillness
https://spoti.fi/2B9Uioa

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated by Jenn Best

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Curated by: Jenn Best
Playlist link: A Sunday Morning Thirty Three

I’m honoured to have my good friend Jenn Best guest curate this week.
Jenn is one of the most courageous and creative people I’ve ever met.

She is an incredible entrepreneur. An amazing artist, embodiment and intimacy coach and a badass business woman. Having overcome some really tough health challenges she uses her intuitive and healing abilities have helped so many people women and men heal.

I met Jenn in Toronto when she owned a tea shop/workspace in my old neighbourhood. A few years after that we both moved to new ventures and lost touch for a while as happens when your lives take you to new ventures. About three years ago, my friend Danielle was visiting from LA and brought me to an incredible retreat where I randomly reconnected with Jenn.

I’m constantly inspired by her ambition and power to overcome so much and turn that into making a huge difference for so many people with her and coaching work.

Check out more of Jenn’s journey at Jennbestinc.com

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - A Little Meditation / Gratitude / Faith

“Everyone of us has felt the lights go down”.

Does this sound familiar?

“I am successful but feel unsatisfied.
I know I’m not happy but I don’t know why.
I want to be a great leader who is truly connected to others and myself.
I am constantly making sacrifices in my personal life to advance in my career.”

What would look like if you eliminated the drama?
A rediscovery of integrity, responsibility, feeling valued and motivated.
Getting responsible to change your relationship to stress, demand and energy leaks.

Unapologetically putting yourself first! 
To stop playing a different character in work and life that are each sold separately.
Being a whole person and conscious leader. 

Reframing your Purpose.
Rebuilding confidence.
Unbiased support.
Accountability.
Trust.
Joy.

A Sunday Morning Playlist 032 - A Little Meditation / Gratitude / Faith

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated By Darryl Webster

It’s such an honour to have one of my closest friends Darryl Webster curate a playlist. Darryl is one of the most kind hearted, ambitious and creative people you’ll meet. He is a true story teller. The lead singer of Sunriser and his solo project Old Kid.

A few years ago he wrote a book about the Manchester City football supporters clubs across the world. He travelled across the US, Iceland, UAE, Europe, Asia and South America to tell interesting stories about community. That’s who Darryl has always been through his work and the people that get to know him.

Darryl has a new Old Kid album coming out this Fall called “Tell Me Everything” with a lead single ‘Maybe It’s Time Again’ out now and available here or through Spotify. Check out his band Sunriser as well.

About the Playlist….
Darryl describes this as a playlist of nights out in our mid-20’s at the British themed club nights in Toronto.
This brings back a lot of great memories of UKULA, Blowup, Dance Cave and basement dive bar at Augusta and College I can’t remember the name of anymore.

A Sunday Morning Playlist (031) - Curated by Darryl Webster aka. Old Kid
Playlist Link

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - 030

For the lucid dreamers….

I had a dream recently that I had walked into a music store to purchase a harmonica for an elephant.
I was instructed to find the longest harmonica possible for an elephant to play in a show. The sales staff just laughed hysterically at my request. We looked through catalogues and couldn’t find anything viable that would work.

When I woke up it took me a few minutes to realize that this really happened. As a teenager I worked at a safari/zoo as a purchaser and would get some interesting requests from time to time.

What was the harmonica and the elephant trying to tell me 20 years later ;)

For the constant lucid dreamers out there…
A Sunday Morning Playlist

A Sunday Morning Playlist - Nels Birthday Edition

Today is my 40th birthday.  It's been a really great ride so far. 
My 30's were full of heartbreak, thrills, adventures, risk-taking and incredible physical and personal transformation.

This playlist is a tiny snapshot of some of songs that remind me of some of the most memorable moments of the last 10 years.  The adventurous days/nights in New York City and Toronto. Early morning running in Central Park, The Beaches and along the Hudson River.  The interesting conversations at the Kava tea shops in the East Village and San Francisco.  Cheating death and the sleepless nights of painful recovery (never more important than those 12 weeks in 2017).  The countless ceremonies and connections with temporary friends, new friends, old friends and so many meaningful experiences.

Stoked for what's next with Hungry Hearts and life.
It’s been a trip so far.
Everyday just gets a little better than the last.

A Sunday Morning Playlist

Nels


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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated By Bryton Udy

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Curated by Bryton Udy 

I’m super honoured to have my friend Bryton Udy curate the latest edition of
A Sunday Morning Playlist this week.

Bryton is one of the most creative and humble people you'll ever meet.  He's an uber talented entrepreneur and doing a bunch of interesting things to impact people's lives thoughtful brand/strategy and not for profit work. 

Bryton is also one half of Calgary Pop/Country duo Leaving Thomas who are releasing their new album shortly.

I've been lucky to collaborate with Bryton on some amazing work and take away so many powerful insights from him.

This playlist is a collection of songs Bryton has put together called “Mindset Melodies”.

Playlist link: A Sunday Morning Playlist 022 - Bryton Udy

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Volume 021

I was watching “The Dirt” over the weekend on Netflix.
It’s a Mötley Crüe biopic which was pretty entertaining in a terrible and predictable movie kind of way.

It reminded me of being a kid in the late 80’s/mid 90’s before the Internet!  When you waited for your favourite videos to play on MuchMusic or MTV and record it on your VCR.  I hours spent sitting in front of the television waiting for my favourite videos to hit the rotation or Rap City / The Wedge.

This is a nostalgic video playlist from the earliest memories of my parents playing Portuguese music to my older sisters playing metal and new wave to being a teenager in the mid/late 90’s listening to hip-hop, alternative and electronic. For better or worse ;)

Playlist: A Sunday Morning Playlist 021

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Emotional Endurance

“EMOTIONAL ENDURANCE”

STRETCH YOURSELF
PHYSICALLY
EMOTIONALLY
MENTALLY
SPIRITUALLY 
EVERYDAY.

FIND SOMETHING YOU LOVE TO DO
GROW A DEEP BELIEF
ENJOY THE UPS AND DOWNS
CONNECT WITH THOSE THAT HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT
OWN THE STORY YOU TELL.

PLAY THE LONG GAME 
IT'S WORTH IT.

STRENGTH AND VULNERABILITY PURPOSEFULLY.

A Sunday Morning Playlist - Volume 021
re:make / re:imagine / re:mix
Link: https://bit.ly/2TbJe0D

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated By Stephen Peeters

I’m super honoured to have my good friend Stephen Peeters curate the latest “A Sunday Morning Playlist”.

I met Stephen and his wife Marianne a couple of years ago. They’d recently moved from Belgium.
It takes a lot of guts to leave a great life near your family and transplant yourself into a completely different culture.

Stephen is a real thoughtful, intelligent and empathetic leader. We’ve had many amazing life conversations over a few beers (sometimes more than a few). One of the coolest and humblest people you could meet so it was a no brainer to ask him to put a playlist together.

Stephen’s playlist in is a pretty chill and eclectic mix with a few odes to great Belgian artists blended in.

Spotify Link
https://spoti.fi/2SRfgid

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A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated by Graeme Mathieson

I’m super honoured to have my friend and creative extraordinaire Graeme Matheson curate A Sunday Morning Playlist.

Graeme is a creative, cool and thoughtful leader. Kind of guy you can have some deep conversations and throw a few drinks back with. Graeme is the creative director of one of the best media agencies in Toronto, captain of the long running Hoolies soccer squad and the uber talented deejay Gramera responsible for co-creating some of the most influential musical night in Toronto (Rebel Hop, Stolen Souls).

Graeme has dug into his vast crates of amazing music and put together an amazing playlist around some of his favourites spanning no limits.

Graeme’s words:

“Traveling across the decades, and through distant places, a little eclectic musical journey. No genres and every genre here, and all music for the soul.”

Playlist link
https://spoti.fi/2EuTOf3

Rebel Hop
https://www.facebook.com/rebelhopTO/

Graeme Mathieson

Graeme Mathieson

A Sunday Morning Playlist - Curated by Alysa Scanzano

I'm honoured to have the first curated playlist be put together by Alysa Scanzano.
Alysa is one of the most courageous, genuine, intelligent and funny people I know.
A creative CEO, entrepreneur and actress; she's always up to something interesting across North America.

Thankful for the great friendship, partnership and conversations we have in calling each other every day to be seen more and follow an ambitious path.

This playlist represents Alysa's passion for discovering fresh and exciting hip hop and r'n'b artists.

Playlist Link:
https://spoti.fi/2tpZj8h

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A SUNDAY MORNING PLAYLIST - 007

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I started to make these playlists a few weeks ago with the intention of sharing music I’ve been rediscovering and discovering lately.  Mostly it was to stick to do something fun and consistent for 52 Sunday’s regardless of where I am in the world. 

I’ve been thinking about how I want to turn this into something more community minded which I will be starting in January and hitting you up to get involved in the next few weeks.

To actually get a few artists who’s music I’ve tagged, message me to tell me how much they like the concept and want to create their own Sunday Morning Playlist for me has been such a cool surprise.

Playlist link below…
https://spoti.fi/2SCSieO

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A SUNDAY MORNING PLAYLIST - VOL.005

Taking responsibility for the narrative you’ve created
when you attract complicated people and situations into your world.

”Just a little smoke rather than the house burning down.
Go elbow to elbow with someone who is already complete.
You are so worthy of someone who is well suited to support and respect that”.

~Leah Beth Pacifico

Align your energy around people who are able to
meet you where you are rather than those
who create complicated narratives and situations.

PLAYLIST 005 OF 052

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A SUNDAY MORNING PLAYLIST - VOL.004

Bird of Prey
Bird of Prey
Flying high
Flying high
In the summer sky
Bird of Prey
Bird of Prey
Flying high
Flying high
gently pass on by
Bird of Prey
Bird of Prey
Flying high
Flying high
am i going to die
Bird of Prey
Bird of Prey
Flying high
Flying high
take me on your flight

Two years ago today I was getting out of the hospital after having surgery for a neuroendocrine pancreatic tumour.

About a week later I received my biopsy results which revealed that they had found cancer but had successfully removed it during the surgery.  Kind of like the worst and best moment at once.  A huge sense of relief and then waves of guilt over that I had it too easy compared to other people who had had cancer.

Such a weird thing to choose suffering over being grateful in this moment when you’re one of the lucky ones. I spent the next few months in significant pain recovering from the surgery.  Physically it was bad but mentally much worse.  Sleeping two hours a night, night sweats almost nightly, no workouts and the stress of putting my coaching practice on hold.

It did give me a lot of time to think about this whole being grateful vs suffering thing that I was experiencing which I could now see popping up in so many areas of my life.  I struggled with this conversation for quite a while but eventually it started to shift my perspective around my purpose, relationships, well-being, money, ego and how I was showing up everywhere. 

I started to develop a much more powerful relationship to manifestation, spirit and being more responsible for my energy leaks much more consistently.

I am coming through the most intense period of my own growth over the last 8 months which had been a major shit show in a few moments, lol but mostly an incredible journey that’s brought amazing people and opportunities my way and gearing up for an adventurous 2019.

Earlier this week I had my routine CT scan I do every six months to monitor any changes, which have come back clear. Shoutout to all the staff, nurses and doctors @thepmcf and United Health Network family in Toronto for the incredible work they do.  Forever grateful!

I barely think about that experience anymore. It just doesn’t have any energy but was reminded by a friend this week that maybe I should. From the perspective of gratitude and that if you can overcome this than everything else is always within reach. 🖤🖤🖤

PLAYLIST 003 OF 052

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